Most parents want their children to be happy, healthy and successful. However, sometimes parents have children who are violent and get into trouble with the law. So how can you change your son that is violent?
If your child is violent, you may feel helpless and alone. You may even feel ashamed and embarrassed to tell people what your child has done. But there are ways to change your son’s behavior and help him become a good person again.
Tips to Change A Violent Son
1. Talk to Your Son
The first thing you should do is talk to your son about his behavior and how it affects his life and others around him. For example:
Ask him what he thinks causes him to act violently. He may not know the answer — which means that he needs help getting professional counseling or treatment for his mental health issues. If he does know why he acts violently, encourage him to seek out other resources that can help him stop doing so.
Ask him what kind of help he needs from you as a parent so that he doesn’t feel like acting out in violent ways anymore.
Some examples include: spending more time with him; talking about how you’ve felt when he was violent; giving him more freedom; allowing him privacy; allowing him to make choices about things like where he lives or goes to school.
2. Listen Carefully
Listen carefully to what he has to say, especially when he’s mad at you or someone else. If you can avoid getting defensive and listen with an open mind, it will help him feel safe enough to open up more completely in the future.
3. Create a Safe Environment for Talking
If your son is angry or upset, try not to get into an argument with him right away — it could escalate the situation and make things worse!
Instead, create a safe environment where you can talk calmly together and resolve any conflicts that come up between you two as a family member or friend before they become serious issues that might lead to violence later on down the road.
4. Get Professional Help
It’s important that your son gets professional help from someone who specializes in treating youth who have anger issues.
A therapist can teach him how to manage his emotions and channel them in positive ways. The therapist might also work with you and your family on how best to handle situations in which your son becomes upset or angry.
5. Model Positive Behavior Yourself
If your son sees you acting out violently or shouting at others, he may think it’s okay for him too — even if it isn’t okay for anyone else in the family or community where you live.
Instead, model positive behavior by always staying calm when others around you get angry or frustrated, quietly talking things through instead of yelling or screaming at each other, or walking away from a situation rather than getting physical with another person.
6. Pray for Him
One of the best ways to change a violent son is to pray for him. You may think it’s not enough, but God is able to do more than we can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).
Pray that God would give you wisdom, so you can see what’s going on with your son and how best to address it.
Ask God to convict him by his own conscience to change his life (Romans 2:15). Pray that he would turn away from evil and choose to follow Christ (Isaiah 55:7).
7. Love Him Unconditionally
You might not be able to see any good in your violent son right now, but God does! He loves him just as much as He loves you and me (1 John 4:7-21).
He knows the plans He has for your son’s life (Jeremiah 29:11), and His plans are always good ones (Psalm 139:13-16). Your unconditional love will show your son that no matter what he does or how far he strays from God, there is still hope for him.
8. Focus on the Positive
Instead of focusing on all the negative things your son does, focus on all the positive things he does as well. Encourage him by praising his accomplishments instead of criticizing everything he does wrong or doesn’t do right.
9. Draw Him Closer to God
The best way to change your son is by drawing him closer to God. He doesn’t need you to fix him, but he does need you to love him and guide him. Your son needs to know that God loves him and has a plan for his life.
When a child is violent at home, in school or on the streets, parents often wonder what to do. While there’s no quick fix for this problem, these tips mentioned above will help your son change his behavior.
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